Wait
by badassbensonx
Summary: 19x18, Service. Takes place during and after. Will Amanda finally be able to face her demons and allow Olivia to be there for her? Or is she just going to continue digging her grave.
1. i

_a/n: I feel like this story will definitely be a good, possibly long one. Or that's surely what I am hoping for! I haven't been able to shake these thoughts all day. This story is based off of Maroon 5's song, "Wait", and episode 19x18, "Service". I personally did not watch the episode based off of what I had viewed on twitter. I know Amanda was very out of context, and we know how hard she has been working on herself. SO, from pure speculation and some videos, I hope you enjoy my take on it! It's very upsetting to hear that they're trying to make Rollins be the bad guy most of the time. ;(_

 _Aside from Amanda being out of character, I'm putting my own twist on this. This WILL be Rolivia, and Amanda wasn't ever dating said cardiologist. She's hiding a different secret. You're welcome._

 _As always, reviews are welcome. Xo_

 _/_

 _Can we talk for a moment?_

 _Got these feelings I'm tired of holding on_

Olivia had noticed that Amanda wasn't herself, and she didn't want to hound her for answers, damn well knowing that Amada would shut her out. That was the last thing that she needed.

"Hey, you got a problem?" Olivia asked after assigning each detective their rolls in the case.

Amanda gave her a half smile and shrugged.

"It's nothing. I'm fine." Amanda insisted and pushed herself past her superior.

Olivia raised her brow as her eyes followed her movements. She sighed and headed into her office and sat down.

The thing with Amanda was that she was a very private person, and tried to lay low. Until her mistakes caught up with her and Olivia would eventually have to bail her out of whatever trouble she was in. And honestly, Olivia didn't mind. What she did mind was the fact that Amanda continuously shut her out, especially after Amanda was very keen on telling Olivia she was going to be there for her. It made Olivia feel like she couldn't be trusted, and that very well wasn't the case.

Olivia knew that her and Amanda had problems in the past, but finally they were able to work through them. After Amanda had taken her tropical retreat to work on herself, and Olivia forced to take some mandatory time from the higher ups, they talked. They talked for what seemed like forever, and Olivia was very grateful that she could finally allow Amanda into her life. Olivia looked at Amanda in a different way, with them both being mothers and them both finally becoming closer, she was more than a colleague and that's what Olivia had hoped for this entire time.

From the moment Amanda had walked into the squad room six years ago, Olivia had felt something for her. Though, Olivia would have never admitted it, and she was sure Amanda was straight anyways.

Olivia battled her sexuality for years. Sure she had been with men most of her life, but there were a few flings here and there in college and at the academy that she really cherished. And then she met Alexandra Cabot. That woman had wrecked her damn world, in the best way, and the worst way possible. The two had been on and off for years, but Olivia knew it was never going to work out in the end because all Alex did was run, and Olivia deserved better. They had both known that it wasn't going to last, and when they finally came to terms with it, they were heartbroken. But they made the best of what they could together before Alex was shipped off upstate. That was the last Olivia had heard from her, she had thought maybe she finally retired and went to Florida like all the other ADA's had. She laughed at the thought. Alex Cabot in Florida? Her hair wouldn't be able to handle it.

Olivia smiled at the memories of Alex. She was happy she was able to experience good memories with her, but now she had Amanda to think about. She never acted on her feelings, and she was always very professional with her and rarely crossed the line. Of course there were times when they were able to just be themselves and not boss, subordinate level, and that's what Olivia wanted more of. But it was hard. Olivia knew their jobs were very demanding, and now that they both had kids to care for, she didn't think it would ever work.

Plus, Amanda was straight. Or at least that's what she thought.

 _Wasn't trying to get wasted_

 _I needed three or four more of these to say this_

"Rollins, what's going on?" Olivia had said once they were alone in the break room. She really had hoped Amanda would open up to her, but she knew if she wanted to talk about it, Amanda would come to her when she's ready.

Amanda sighed and hung her head as she closed the locker. She debated on telling Olivia what was really on her mind.

"This case you know. Sometimes this job is rewarding." Amanda lied.

"Life affirming." Olivia commented.

"More like it makes you wanna pound a fifth of _Jameson_." Amanda replied.

Olivia frowned and looked up at her. "Do you wanna talk about it?" She asked. Amanda offered her a smile.

"It's just… I'll get over it." She sighed and sat down and looked at the brunette.

Olivia sat back for a moment and took in the sigh of the blonde. She was beautiful in every way possible. Sometimes all she wanted to do was look at Amanda, she would catch glimpses of her through the shades from her office, when they were on ride alongs together. Anything to see the woman she was slowly falling for.

Amanda broke the stare, but still felt Olivia's eyes on her. She always felt her eyes on her, and sometimes it scared her. She wasn't sure what was going on in her mind, maybe she was secretly plotting her death. Amanda laughed to herself.

"Something funny?" Olivia asked, pulling off her glasses.

Something that killed Amanda was the goddamn glasses. Amanda wanted to see Olivia in them all the time. _And only in the glasses._

Amanda smiled softly and looked at her, "Whenever you stare at me, I feel like you're just burning a hole in my soul. Are you plotting a secret death?" She playfully asked, causing Olivia to laugh and roll her eyes.

"I'm worried about you, Amanda. I want to be here for you. Whatever it is, I hope you can come to me, but don't take your anger out on the victims." Olivia spoke before exiting the room.

Amanda sat back and breathed out, she knew talking to Olivia would help, but she was too damn scared to admit she needed help.

 _Your love, I don't wanna lose  
I'm beggin', beggin', beggin', beggin', I'm begging you_


	2. ii

_a/n; two chapters in less than an hour. If only I could always update this fast, right? ;)_

 _I really hope you enjoyed the first one. Xo_

 _/_

 _Just wait, can we work this out, can we work this out?_

Olivia had left the ball in Amanda's court, and if she wanted to come talk to her, she knew where to find her.

With the case heading in a direction Olivia didn't expect, she had heard how Amanda had treated their main victim, and it sent her blood boiling. Olivia knew Amanda was hurting, but that didn't give her any right to treat her the way she did.

"Rollins. My office, now." Olivia spoke coldly as she walked through the front doors.

Amanda hung her head and rubbed her temples, she knew exactly what she was going in for.

"Nice knowin ya." Fin chuckled as Amanda shot him a death glare. He put his hands up defensively, "Olivia's trying to help you, don't push her away." Is all he said before he took a call.

"Carisi, let's roll. I'll fill you in." He said, grabbing his jacket and heading out the door with the younger detective.

Amanda slowly got up and walked towards her office and looked at her as she walked in. "Close the door." _A please would've been nice,_ Amanda said to herself.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Olivia asked after she had closed the door. Amanda's eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms.

"Excuse me?" She asked.

Olivia laughed and stood up and looked at her. "I don't know where you get off telling a victim that you don't care what happened to them and that they don't matter!" Olivia was practically yelling at this point. Amanda knew she should back down and apologize, but she was ready to fight.

"Oh don't come at me with that bullshit, Olivia. We all have been there, and you're no saint yourself!" She snapped.

Olivia was taken back by her words. Though, she was right in a way. There had been the time that Olivia was clouded by the truth and lies. Elliot had just left, and all she could think about was him leaving. Alex was the one to get her back on her feet, and she was thankful for that. She still hated how she ever doubted a victim, but she continuously made a vow to never get in that mindset again, no matter how bad it was.

"What, Miss Perfect doesn't have anything to say?" Amanda knew she shouldn't have said that, and she honestly regretted it the moment it slipped from her mouth. She sighed and closed her eyes and went to speak but Olivia shook her head.

"I understand you're hurting Amanda, and if taking it out on me makes you sleep at night, then by all means. We can go back to being strictly professional to each other and cut all of the bullshit in between. If you can't show me the respect that I've shown you, fine. We don't have to like each other anymore, we don't have to see each other outside of work." Olivia could feel herself on the verge of a breakdown, but she knew that she had to keep her composure. She wasn't going to let Amanda see her like that.

"But I will sure as hell not allow you to come in here, fuck up a case and give SVU a bad rep. And if that's how you want to play things, then I can find you a new spot somewhere else." Olivia's words were cold, and Amanda felt like it was a shot to the heart.

Amanda knew she had fucked up, and knew that she had crossed lines that she never expected to. She didn't know how to say sorry without making a complete fool of herself.

"You're on immediate suspension until I can figure out what the hell to do with you. You're dismissed." Olivia spoke again and sat down and opened her laptop without giving another look to Amanda.

Amanda closed her eyes and allowed tears to fall. She turned her heel and stopped at her desk, grabbed her jacket and left.

Olivia had stood up to close the door again, drew her blinds, sat on the couch and cried. She had never wanted to be that harsh on her, but she knew that she also couldn't allow her feelings getting in the way of discipline. Olivia was hurt by her words, and the way she came off. She genuinely understood Amanda being so closed off from her hurt, but she couldn't understand why she couldn't talk to her.

 _You say I've done a lot of things I can't undo  
Before you tell me for the last time  
I'm beggin', beggin', beggin', beggin' you_

Instead of going home like she knew she should've done, Amanda went to the only place she knew best.

O'Malleys. It was her favorite bar, it was a quiet cop bar for the most part so no one really messed with her. She propped herself up on the bar stool and ordered shot after shot until she was numb. She knew she had a toddler to get home to, but right now she didn't want to face that.

She didn't want to face the fact that she might have her daughter taken away from her because her asshole _father_ wanted her. Who the fuck was he to file for custody of Jesse? Amanda took care of her way better than she thought she would've. Being a single mom wasn't easy, but she knew with the support of Olivia and the squad, she could do it.

Olivia. Fuck. Amanda knew she had to make things right, but all the whiskey had gone to her head and she couldn't process anything.

"You're drunk." Olivia's voice from behind echoed through her ears.

Amanda turned around and looked at her. "What.. Why.. You here?" She asked, trying not to come off as piss drunk.

"Because Lucy has your kid. Daycare called and you never went to pick up your daughter." Olivia could kill her right now, but she wasn't going to.

Amanda shook her head and looked at Olivia. "Why do you care?" She closed her eyes, she felt like she was going to be sick.

"Honestly, I don't know why." Olivia wrapped her arm around her lower back to help her up on her feet. "But this," She pointed to the empty glass. "This isn't how we solve our problems."

Amanda knew she was right, but she was too far gone for her words to matter. Olivia paid her tab and took her home. Lucy agreed to keep Noah and Jesse for the night at her apartment, and told her to contact her if there was any emergency. She also decided to take the next day off, and sure as hell, Amanda was going to as well.

Whether she wanted to or not, they were going to talk.

 _I'm beggin', beggin', beggin', beggin', I'm begging you_

 _a/n; did y'all see that plot twist? ;)_


	3. iii

_a/n; I hope you're enjoying this! Thanks for the love. You might need tissues…._

 _/_

 _Let me apologize_

Olivia didn't sleep much. It was nothing new, but with a drunken Amanda passed out in her bed, and all the thoughts of her feelings whirling around, it was enough to keep someone up for days. She sat up and relaxed against the headboard and grabbed her book from the nightstand and glanced at the clock. It was nearly five am, and she knew that it was going to be a long day. She never really had time for herself these days, especially with being in charge at SVU, and a full time single parent to a toddler. But of course, she wouldn't change it for the world. She allowed herself to get lost in her book for an hour before she got tired of sitting there. She knew Amanda was normally an early riser, but with the amount of alcohol she had consumed the night before, she was probably going to sleep late. Olivia peeled the blanket off her body and gently stroked the back of Amanda's hair and sighed.

"I wish you could trust me." She softly said and got up and wrapped herself in a sweater and headed out into the kitchen to make some coffee. She wasn't really hungry, but also had known she didn't eat dinner the night before. It's not because she was intentionally trying to starve herself, but she had been too worried about Amanda to even think of caring for herself.

Olivia knew that was her problem. She was always the type to put herself first, and always herself last. That didn't make her a bad person, it did make her a good person. In many ways, but she needed to learn sooner than later to learn to take care of herself. She hated to rely on anyone else, but it would be nice for someone to tend to her for once. She sighed softly to herself and sat back on the couch sipping her coffee, and enjoying the stillness for a moment. Olivia loved Noah, don't get her wrong, but she swore he had ADD, or ADHD, because that kid was all over the place. She laughed and set her cup on the side table and sat back while turning on the news. Again, something she never had time to do.

An hour and a half later she had heard the shower running in the bedroom, and glanced at the time.

"I must've dozed off." She spoke to herself and rubbed her face. Olivia knew confronting Amanda soon was not how she had intended her day to go, but it needed to be done. Olivia felt for Amanda, and she was still hurt that she couldn't talk to her about whatever she was going through.

The brunette sat up and rubbed her face as she heard the water turn off. She slowly breathed out and mentally prepared herself for what was going to happen next.

Amanda, God help her, knew Olivia was going to make her talk. The least Amanda owed her was an explanation. How could she really explain herself? _Hey, Olivia, that one night stand with Murphy turned into me having a kid, who wants to now take her away from me. Oh! And by the way, I'm fucking in love with you!_ Amanda wanted to vomit. It was a strong combination from the fact she drank hard on an empty stomach, and how nervous she was about facing her superior.

Olivia had seen Amanda like that before, but it was different, because they were both trashed, and enjoying each other's company. Amanda had spent many nights at Olivia's place, so this wasn't the first time in her bed, or shower.

 _I make up, make up, make up, for all those times_

Amanda closed her eyes and leaned against the counter. She wrapped the towel around her body and opened the door to the bedroom and went through one of Olivia's draws that had old clothes that Amanda would wear from time to time. _Surely anyone who is just friends with their boss keeps extra clothes, LET ALONE SLEEP WITH THEM IN THEIR BED!_ Amanda didn't understand why she was so angry. She was angry at Olivia for making her fall in love with her, and she was angry at herself for allowing herself to fall for her. She knew Olivia was always there for her, no matter what it was. Two a.m phone calls, after work drinks, late night movies. Olivia went out of her way to please Amanda with the little things that no one else would think of.

Amanda sighed. She fucked up big time with Olivia, with this case. She knew she had to apologize to the victim, but first she needed help digging herself out of the hell hole she had created. She pulled on some sweats and a baggy NYPD shirt and put her hair up.

"Thought you would never come out." Olivia tried to joke a little with her, she did earn a smile from the blonde.

"Here." Olivia handed her a cup of coffee and some Advil. She knew Amanda had needed it. Hell, she felt like she needed it and she was the one who had been sober.

Amanda smiled at her again and took it. She was very thankful that Olivia was always good to her, even after their fights.

"We need to talk." Olivia finally said as they both sat on the couch and Amanda nodded.

"Olivia." Amanda sighed, tears filled her eyes and she finally met her brown eyes.

"I was so mean to you yesterday, and I was mean to that poor girl." She sighed and wiped her cheek. "I allowed myself to take my anger out on someone else, instead of working through my problems." She shook her head and looked down.

Olivia sighed and reached out to put her hand on Amanda's knee in a comforting way.

Amanda set her cup down and put her hand on top of Olivia's and looked at her. "I am so sorry for the way I spoke to you yesterday. You didn't deserve that, not from me, not from anyone. You have been so good to me, you've been so good to my daughter, and I will never be able to repay you. You've taught me so much about being a good mom, and seeing the good in the world outside of SVU." Amanda continued.

Olivia felt like she was going to breakdown and cry at any moment. She could hear the hurt behind her voice, and all she wanted to do was pull Amanda into her arms and hold her. But she couldn't. She needed to know, and feel, like she could trust Amanda again.

"I know you're my boss, but you're also my best friend, Olivia. You have been there for me, when no one else has. Especially when my sister was out to get me, when I felt like the world was out to get me. You helped me become the person I am today." Amanda couldn't stop the tears from falling now.

Olivia ignored the little voice in her head and pulled Amanda into her arms. Before she knew it, her lips were on Amanda's, and Amanda surely wasn't pulling away. It wasn't the way Olivia had pictured their first kiss being, but she wanted to reassure her that she wasn't going anywhere. Olivia knew by kissing her, their problems weren't going to go away. She knew Amanda had other issues going on that they needed to talk about, and Olivia was going to hear her out, and do everything in her power to make sure no one would hurt her.

Amanda felt like her world was on fire, in the best way possible. Kissing Olivia Benson was definitely a dream come true, and she didn't want the kiss to end, but she needed to breathe. She pulled away from the older woman, who took it as a bad sign.

"O..Oh my god.. Amanda.. I just.. Didn't.." Amanda laughed at Olivia stuttering.

"Is Olivia Benson speechless?" Amanda was hysterical at this point, and Olivia didn't find it funny that she was laughing. "Olivia, I pulled away because I needed to breathe. You literally took my breath away." She smiled and placed her hand on Olivia's cheek and leaned in and kissed her again.

"I've wanted to do that for a long time, and I'm sure this isn't how we both pictured it." Amanda smiled after pulling away again. "I think you're the most beautiful woman in this world, and I wish I had known that our relationship could've been like this a long time ago." She sighed softly and ran her fingers through Olivia's hair.

Olivia raised her brow. "How do you know I pictured kissing you?" She teased playfully as Amanda gave her an unamused look.

Olivia smiled, "You're right." She took her hand and held it. "Amanda, I have a lot of feelings for you, and you pushing me away really made me feel like you didn't feel the same way, even though all the signs lead to this." She softly said and stroked the back of her hand with her thumb.

Amanda felt heartbroken. She made Olivia feel like she meant nothing. She sighed and shook her head. "Olivia, I am so sorry for making you feel that way, but I want you to know I feel the same way about you. I always have. But it just seemed so impossible… Until we got closer. I felt a deeper connection between us… And like I said, I am so sorry for how I treated you, but I want you to know I want you." Amanda sighed and looked at her. "I do want to open up to you, because what I've been going through these past few weeks has been heartbreaking, and I cant do it alone." She couldn't help but begin to cry again.

Olivia pulled her into her arms and held her while she sobbed. "I won't let anything bad happen to you, I promise." Olivia kissed her head.

Olivia waited for her to speak when she was ready, but right now, all she wanted to do was hold her and never let her go.

 _Your love, I don't wanna lose_


	4. iv

Olivia was glad that Amanda had subsided into a soothing sleep. She didn't know how she was even awake after all the liquor she had consumed. Olivia laughed a little, thinking back on her college days and how back then, it had seemed easy taking shot after shot. She knew now if she ever dared to try, her ass would be knocked out for days.

As she watched Amanda sleep, she couldn't help but feel an overwhelmed with love and fear. Olivia was 100% in love with Amanda, and wanted to see where their relationship would go from here, but everyone knew Olivia was only good at running. She tried to deny the fact, and tried to turn it around by saying everyone left her, but she knew that was far from true. Every person Olivia had ever been with, they would've given their lives to her, and she just didn't see herself being able to commit. But with Amanda, it was different. She had pictured this whole other life, and it was terrifying. But for once, I was something she wanted to try. That's the least she owed herself.

Olivia rubbed her back and slowly peeled herself from the couch and retrieved her phone from the bedroom. She texted Fin asking if he could take the kids after his shift, and with him pulling an overnight, it worked well. Olivia was thankful, beyond thankful for Fin. He had really stepped up to prove his Sgt position. And of course, he would have done anything in the world for Olivia. Their friendship was something that was sacred, and they both cherished. Olivia was also beyond thankful for Lucy. She had always been there in a pinch when something happened with Noah, or if she needed a little time away, like now. Olivia would never trade Noah or Jesse for the world, but a little peace and quiet sometimes. She laughed. Peace and quiet with toddlers? Alright, Benson. Keep dreaming.

 _Amanda._

Was she stupid for being so in love with her boss? Yeah. Probably. But knowing Olivia felt the same way about her, really was something else.

Amanda had always admired Olivia. She had studied her cases before transferring to New York, and she had hoped to be friends with THE Olivia Benson, but those dreams were quickly crushed. Amanda knew about a Elliot's departure. A lot of people did. A cop killing a kid? Yeah. That wasn't good. But what Amanda didn't understand was why she was being pushed to the side.

"Transfer from Dallas, right?" She remembered Olivia asking. And Olivia damn well knew where she had come from- honestly, she didn't care.

Of course it crushed Amanda a little. She had idolized this bad-ass cop for so long, and now she got the chance to finally feel like she could be something in a different city, but she couldn't. It took years, literally, for Amanda to finally earn Olivia's trust and friendship. And Amanda knew she could always count on Olivia from that moment, no matter what it was.

Amanda had admired Olivia in many ways, but of course, she also loved her in many ways. Olivia had quickly become her world, and all she could think about was raising a family with Olivia. She was an incredible mom, and she taught her so many things about motherhood, and vice versa. _"You are an incredible mother, Liv."_ Amanda had meant it when she said it, and she knew in that moment, she was in love with Olivia Benson.

Well- she had always been in love with Liv, but it was different.

Amanda rubbed her eyes about an hour later and sat up. "I'm never drinking again." She grumbled as Olivia laughed. She was now sitting on the other end of the couch, curled up with a blanket and a book.

"How many times have you said that, on this very couch?" Olivia playfully teased.

Amanda couldn't help but laugh and look at Olivia. She was beautiful. In every possible. The laugh lines on her forehead, the small creases next to her eyes. Amanda knew she was in for it the moment she started noticing the little details. The way her eyes shined when she talked about Noah. The way she fought for victims, and spoke for the ones who couldn't speak for themselves. Every little thing Olivia never thought about herself, Amanda wanted to make sure it didn't go unnoticed.

"Did you hear anything I just said?" Olivia laughed, waving her hand in front of Amanda's face. The blonde blushed.

"No." She laughed honestly and took Olivia's hand in her own and smiled.

"I was admiring your beauty." She grinned.

Olivia laughed and rolled her eyes. "Funny."

Amanda shrugged and positioned herself so her head was now resting in Olivia's lap. Olivia leaned down and placed a soft kiss to her forehead as Amanda sighed contently.

"Murphy is back." Amanda softly said, closing her eyes. She knew she had to tell Olivia, and she knew Olivia would have her back, and would do anything to protect her.

Olivia went to go speak, and Amanda put her hand up to her mouth and smiled sadly. "He wants custody of Jessie. I've never laughed so goddamn hard in my life." Amanda continued and sighed.

"His lawyer is trying to get any kind of dirt on me that he can, and I know they have plenty against me." She breathed out, feeling tears fall to the side of her face.

Olivia now understood why Amanda had been so cold lately, and her heart was breaking that she couldn't have been there for her sooner. She wiped Amanda's cheeks and listened to her.

Amanda sat up again after a moment, and looked at Olivia. She felt hopeless, and even though she knew that he couldn't take Jessie from her, she was still scared to death.

"I cant lose my baby, Liv." Amanda finally broke down, and Olivia instantly pulled her into her body and held her.

"Shhh, Manda." Olivia whispered and rubbed her back.

"First of all, that son of a bitch doesn't know what's coming for him. If he wants to play this game, we can play it. I know people, I can make sure he will be sorry for going down this path." Olivia hissed through her teeth.

Olivia was never the type to be violent, she always left that to Elliot. But with Amanda, it was different. This was a woman she was in love with, and she was going to fight for her _woman_.

"Second, you are a damn good mother, Amanda. He's never made the effort to try and see her, he wasn't there for you throughout the pregnancy, he's never even sent a goddamn card!" Olivia was angry. Angry that Amanda was hurting so badly, and angry that this prick was trying to start a fight he was never going to win.

Amanda's sobs subsided, and she felt comforted. Olivia always had that effect on her, and she didn't think it was something she was ever going to get used to.

"Amanda, I'm so sorry you felt like you couldn't share this with me, and I'm sorry you've been going through this alone." Olivia sighed and kissed her head.

Amanda moved her head up, meeting Olivia's lips.

Olivia was a little taken back, but moaned into the kiss. Another feeling neither of them were going to get used to- kissing one another.

Amanda's body was on fire, with all the contact she had with Olivia today, she was seriously surprised at how she was able to control her hormones. Amanda had to laugh at herself, sure she was in her thirties, but the things Olivia Benson did to her body was unbelievable. And they hadn't even had sex yet.

"Amanda." Olivia laughed breathless a few moments later after a steamy makeout session.

"I know." Amanda mumbled and kissed her lips softly once again and rubbed her cheek. "I pushed you away. I don't know how I got so lucky to even be here with you in this moment, and I will spend the rest of my life trying to repay you." Amanda snuggled into her body and closed her eyes for a moment. "He isn't going to take my baby, and he's going to fight us every step of the way, but as long as I've got you and _our_ kids, then I have nothing to worry about." Amanda spoke softly. She felt safe by Olivia's words, and being wrapped up in her embrace.

"I love you so much, Olivia." Amanda looked up at her and smiled.

Olivia melted into her baby blues and leaned in and kissed her lips again.

"I love you too, Amanda. We're going to win this." She promised and held the blonde close to her.

 _Your love, I don't wanna lose_


	5. v

_a/n; Sorry I kind of put this one on the back burner. I didn't know where to go with it, and I kinda just wanted to get the ending out of the way. Not my best writing, but its fluffy and we all love fluffy Rolivia! Thank you so much for all your kind words. They mean a lot._

 _x_

After eight very long, and painful months of battling for custody, Amanda had finally won. Sure Murphy had exposed Amanda in every shitty way possible, but Olivia was there to defend her, like she said she would.

Olivia had seen the type of mother Amanda had become over the course of Jessie's short life, and that was one of the reasons she began falling in love with her. Olivia couldn't stand the thought of not having Amanda, or Jessie in her life at this point.

Amanda had stood up and turned around and wrapped her arms around Olivia's neck and sobbed quietly, mainly in relief that she didn't have to worry about him trying to take her anymore.

The judge had agreed on weekly visits, but he just wanted to make her life a living hell and declined the weekly visits.

"There's a special place in hell for people who don't want to at least see their children." Olivia hissed angrily at him and wrapped her arm around Amanda's waist as they walked out of the courtroom.

"Olivia, you've been so good to me." Amanda softly said once they were home, and Amanda had her now sleeping daughter against her chest. It was moments like these that she never wanted to forget.

Olivia smiled and placed her hand on Amanda's cheek and kissed her head. "I love you, that's why. And I love her." She smiled, kissing Jessie's head. Olivia took the little blonde to the bedroom she shared with Noah and laid her down in her bed, across from where Noah was already asleep.

Amanda wrapped her arms around Olivia once she returned to the living room and kissed her lips. "I don't deserve you, at all." She smiled sadly.

Olivia shook her head, "Don't' say that."

Amanda sighed and rested her head against her chest and smiled at the sound of her heartbeat.

"I love you so damn much, Amanda, that it's actually quite nauseating." Olivia grinned playfully.

Amanda laughed and pulled away from the brunette and playfully pushed her onto the couch.

"Shut up, Benson." Amanda smiled and straddled her lap.

"Why don't you give me a good reason to?" Olivia raised her brow and rubbed her hips, watching Amanda's movements.

Amanda moved her hips against Olivia's body and pressed herself to her chest and kissed her lips deeply. "I love you too, Olivia. Always have, always will." Amanda mumbled against her lips and kissed down her neck.

Olivia smiled at those words. In a swift movement, she wrapped her arms around Amanda's waist and carried her to the bedroom.

"Always." Olivia kissed Amanda again before giving her a night she deserved.


End file.
